so im not gonna lie, i don't EVER use this. but lately there seems to be, can i say emotional build up? its like a septic tank full of emotions, and i'm sure everyone is tired of hearing it. also since the whole livejournal thing is over for alot of people who used to read this, i figured "hey why not vent this lj. no one uses this." so here i am lj, and i was wrong, since alot of people on my friends list still use this.
basically i wasted my whole summer on a guy who wasn't even worth it. despite what my best friend was telling me, i didnt want to hear it. deep down though, i knew she was right. at the end of the summer he pretty much breaks my heart and doesnt call for two months. then, when he comes back home at the end of october, all i hear is "oh i love you. blahzay blahzay blah." whatever. i fell for his crap, again. once again my friend tells me he's an ass, but i didnt want to hear it. just recently, the "he's an ass ashley, and you know it" was reaffirmed. i realized every word out of his mouth meant absolutely nothing, over a stupid text message conversation, which is even sadder. i think the only thing worse about this is knowing he doesn't even give a shit that he hurt me, and that in three months we'll be talking again.
another thing i realized during this period was don't talk to apple inspectors that are 30 years, ride a bike, have no life, and an attitude problem, no matter how nice of a smile they have. its not even worth it to talk about this one.
i've also learned that you're only gonna have a few good, true friends in life, none of which are from saint peter's. everyone who you think is your friend, really isn't. i might seem like a hypocrite now, but honestly i don't like my "friends" from school. they all take advantage of me, because i have a hard time saying no to anyone. you can pretty much talk me into anything, at anytime, anywhere. i've also learned not to trust a soul in that school, because the next thing you know, EVERYONE knows your business. its quite annoying actually. sure you could say im best friends with all these different people from there. but deep down, we're all a bunch of assholes. theres maybe two people i can actually rely on from that school, probably cause i see them the least. i always wonder if its like that at a normal high school... whatever i have four months left. ill be xtuffx. haha.
this year i've made some resolutions, that i actually plan to stick to. i have planned to save up for two things: a new digital camera, because to be honest i don't even know where my prehistoric broken camera is, probably somewhere out in lower macungie. a system for my pam cakes, so i can go bumm bumm bummmmmm. haha. i figure i'll have the camera by my birthday, and the system by graduation.
this year i want to be more organized. this will probably will be the toughest, seeing as i can't even keep my car clean. i need to do this, because i am forever loosing everything i own, which ends up being broken when i find it. im getting tired of it, and im running out of money to replace things i already had.
i want to be more responsible. i hate the fact that i pretty much forget everything. its frustrating and annoying, so this year i plan on figuring out what is the best technique for me to be able to remember the simplest of tasks.
i want to have actual goals in life. yeah its okay to say now i'll do whatever i want, but i need to think more about my future, and not just about today. sure theres a party tonight. sure you have amazing piff. sure you copped some liquor. awesome. i'm not fourteen anymore, im going to be eighteen in two months, and im sorry if i've already done that shit and gotten over it. i admit, next year i'll go to some parties, but not with the same intentions i have now. if i get into penn state, which i seriously hope that i do, my main goal is to meet new people, not get drunk within the first hour of being at the party, talking to old and ugly men, and not remembering a thing. its overrated and im tired of it.
there. so thats all i can think of thats been bothering me lately.
Mikebennettron (2:01:51 AM): hi! xilleaturhrt0utx (2:02:37 AM): hey!! Auto Response From Mikebennettron (2:02:38 AM): A virtuous man dreams, what a wicked man does. Mikebennettron (2:02:46 AM): whats up xilleaturhrt0utx (2:02:56 AM): not much, you? Mikebennettron (2:03:20 AM): nm... i heard about phils car... Mikebennettron (2:03:23 AM): i feel really bad xilleaturhrt0utx (2:03:38 AM): what about it? Mikebennettron (2:03:47 AM): he hit that lady xilleaturhrt0utx (2:03:58 AM): jigga wha? Mikebennettron (2:04:04 AM): you didnt hear?! xilleaturhrt0utx (2:04:15 AM): lol phil has hit alot of people actually Mikebennettron (2:04:19 AM): he came to visit me at monmouth yesterday Mikebennettron (2:04:29 AM): and like on the way home Mikebennettron (2:04:41 AM): (cuz kristina was there too) they went to the drive thru at micky D's Mikebennettron (2:04:57 AM): and he ordered a coke. and just a coke right xilleaturhrt0utx (2:05:02 AM): yeah Mikebennettron (2:05:21 AM): and as he was driving to the window he heard the lady say "would you like cheese with that?" Mikebennettron (2:05:26 AM): and he was like "wtf" Mikebennettron (2:05:30 AM): so he backed up Mikebennettron (2:05:34 AM): went to the window and was like Mikebennettron (2:05:47 AM): "no i said i want a COKE. a SODA A COKE" Mikebennettron (2:05:50 AM): and the lady was like Mikebennettron (2:06:01 AM): oh ok thatll be a $1.50 or whatever Mikebennettron (2:06:18 AM): and phil drives forward again right and the ladys like "are you sure you dont want cheese with that?" Mikebennettron (2:06:25 AM): so he backs up again to like yell at the lady Mikebennettron (2:06:35 AM): but this time Mikebennettron (2:06:38 AM): there was a car there xilleaturhrt0utx (2:06:44 AM): oh jeezy Mikebennettron (2:06:49 AM): and he broke his back bumper and taillights xilleaturhrt0utx (2:07:03 AM): are you serious? xilleaturhrt0utx (2:07:13 AM): cause he was driving it today and shit Mikebennettron (2:07:13 AM): because some retard at mcdonalds wanted to put cheese in his soda xilleaturhrt0utx (2:07:17 AM): and it looked ok Mikebennettron (2:07:24 AM): i dunno xilleaturhrt0utx (2:07:24 AM): he told my mom that someone hit him Mikebennettron (2:07:42 AM): LOL oh nooo xilleaturhrt0utx (2:07:48 AM): and if like all that shit needs to be fixed shes seriously gonna kill him Mikebennettron (2:07:56 AM): i dunno, i didnt see it xilleaturhrt0utx (2:08:16 AM): cause no lie, in the past 2 weeks shes spent 200 bucks just on fixing his car Mikebennettron (2:08:18 AM): i think kristina might have been exagerating xilleaturhrt0utx (2:08:23 AM): lol Mikebennettron (2:08:32 AM): but she said phil looked like he was about to cry xilleaturhrt0utx (2:08:38 AM): wait not 200, 1,000 xilleaturhrt0utx (2:09:01 AM): his battery was 300, and his brakes and tires were 700 ish xilleaturhrt0utx (2:09:05 AM): oh man Mikebennettron (2:09:07 AM): thats no joke Mikebennettron (2:09:21 AM): my it dies today cd was in his car too xilleaturhrt0utx (2:09:25 AM): like phil has the worst of luck with driving xilleaturhrt0utx (2:09:28 AM): lol xilleaturhrt0utx (2:09:33 AM): well he can still drive it Mikebennettron (2:09:45 AM): yeah, lucky for him the ladys car was fine xilleaturhrt0utx (2:09:56 AM): you might be right about the tail lights though cause he wanted to take my moms car tonight Mikebennettron (2:10:26 AM): if i were him, i would have tried to say she hit me xilleaturhrt0utx (2:10:32 AM): i know xilleaturhrt0utx (2:10:42 AM): but he didnt tell my mom the extent of the damage xilleaturhrt0utx (2:11:00 AM): i feel bad for him cause he owes my mom so much money Mikebennettron (2:11:07 AM): i would have been like "that bitch was on her cellphone, and she swung around the drivethrough and rear ended the hell out of me while i was getting my cheesey soda" xilleaturhrt0utx (2:11:17 AM): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA Mikebennettron (2:12:03 AM): i would have lied like hell LOL xilleaturhrt0utx (2:12:25 AM): lol well he didnt lie enough cause my mom will find out about the tail lights eventually xilleaturhrt0utx (2:12:39 AM): and if he said something good like that then she wouldnt be as upset xilleaturhrt0utx (2:12:59 AM): though i know she was pissed off cause he told her he got hit and he didnt get any information lol Mikebennettron (2:13:12 AM): yeah Mikebennettron (2:13:26 AM): because HE friggen demolition derby hit her Mikebennettron (2:13:30 AM): lol xilleaturhrt0utx (2:13:35 AM): hahahaha xilleaturhrt0utx (2:13:44 AM): i love you waaaaay big xilleaturhrt0utx (2:13:53 AM): you tell stories the best, like no lie Mikebennettron (2:14:23 AM): lol xilleaturhrt0utx (2:14:28 AM): oh man Mikebennettron (2:14:30 AM): thanksss Mikebennettron (2:14:37 AM): oh man is right xilleaturhrt0utx (2:14:40 AM): lol Mikebennettron (2:14:51 AM): im still laughing about "that bitch was on her cellphone xilleaturhrt0utx (2:15:07 AM): lol so am i Mikebennettron (2:15:09 AM): im seriously dying xilleaturhrt0utx (2:15:18 AM): that and "the cheesy soda" xilleaturhrt0utx (2:15:25 AM): i'm seriously laughing out loud Mikebennettron (2:15:45 AM): lol Mikebennettron (2:15:50 AM): that made my night xilleaturhrt0utx (2:15:53 AM): lol xilleaturhrt0utx (2:15:57 AM): same here Mikebennettron (2:16:08 AM): i was thinking too, hey maybe i should go to bed Mikebennettron (2:16:17 AM): but no Mikebennettron (2:16:20 AM): i made the right choice xilleaturhrt0utx (2:16:27 AM): hahaha xilleaturhrt0utx (2:16:38 AM): yes, thank you mikebennett Mikebennettron (2:17:43 AM): lol Mikebennettron (2:17:48 AM): wellll i think im about to go now Mikebennettron (2:17:52 AM): im seriously about to pass out lol xilleaturhrt0utx (2:17:59 AM): lol okie dokes Mikebennettron (2:18:14 AM): ill ttyl xilleaturhrt0utx (2:18:16 AM): good night!!!! Mikebennettron (2:18:23 AM): night ashleyyy xilleaturhrt0utx (2:18:52 AM): <33333333333333333333 Auto Response From Mikebennettron (2:18:58 AM): A virtuous man dreams, what a wicked man does. Mikebennettron (2:27:55 AM): *** This user has signed off and is no longer online *** Mikebennettron (2:30:14 AM): *** This user has signed off and is no longer online *** Mikebennettron (12:57:32 PM): *** This user has signed on and is now online *** Mikebennettron (1:02:41 PM): yo, you go to bed later, and wake up earlier than me
yeah. so. hmm. i never update this, mainly because i'm to lazy to actually type things up, and i prefer to write my thoughts down. also, not to mention some things are just way to personal for livejournal. also, i probably already told anyone who still reads this thing about what i've been up to anyways. so, i've decided to just to put up a random update with hopes of continuing to update my little journal, although the likes of that are slim and none.
friday... friday i was actually supposed to go see jeff, but my mom had the night off, and it was virtually impossible for me to lie and get out of the house. so instead, my mom and i went off to the mall, since she felt bad thinking that no one wanted to hang out with me, which then leads to a spree at american eagle. <3. so yeah, i got alot of stuff for "mad" cheap, since ae was having some big summer clearance sale. yeah i rock hahaha. also, i made this cute guy that works there help me get clothes. oh man, was soooo effin' cute, i just want to go back and see him. what a flirt too haha. when i got home i got to talk to marlon <33333333 and god, do i fucking love him. i seriously don't know what i would do if i didn't have him as a friend. he makes me smile waaaay big every single time we talk, its heinous.
saturday.... so, i had to work unfortunately, but luckily jigga-j (aka the love of my lifetime jess sager) and niggAnne (my hero hahaha) were working along with the lovely vanessa! i love those babes haha. after work, liz and i chilled in what i like to call new gunswick with intentions of venturing off to linden to see jeff. after some shit, we all realized that it wasn't gonna happen, which made me sad. so liz and i bought some ciggs and went off toward sean vargas house and we run into him. haha. so sean gives me darling's number and i call him up. he comes outside and smokes and talks with us, yeah we're gangstah. hahaha. after all that gangsterness, liz and i then start walking to some show at hamilton street, but we soon changed are minds and passed the house and continued to the grease trucks. haha. so after some conversing, we go back to the house and all the guys there were drunk. we go and talk to them and some of them were really nice, while some of them were dick heads hahaha. when we left, everyone started to clap for us while yelling "yeah ashley and liz!!!". i swear lol, niggas be crazy!!! hahaha. so then, we decide to walk to black shawns dorm, and it figures that he wasn't there =( . oh well. so then liz aqnd i meet up with gangsta anne <3 and we walked to starbucks and got free drinks <3. after walking around some more we decided to part. liz and i then took a cab home. oh those nights when we were alive. hahaha.
sunday is the least interesting part of my weekend mainly because i didn't do shit. haha.
yesterday, liz and i were supposed to have a bbq at my house. well liz ignored me all day (woah like thats new) and i realized i had no supplies to have a bbq haha. so i tried to call people to see if they wanted to come over and no one answers their phones anymore =\ . but whatever, cause jess and anne came over <3 x 98234768972489762986123892986789 . we had phil deliever us pizza and we all just hung around and talked about crazy people we know from stop and shop. hahahaha. so i went with jess and anne to take anne home and god are we hot amazing brunettes hahahaha. we figured if we made a lesbian porno that we would be set for life. oh jesus i love them lol. so when i returned home from being awesome with them i just chilled lol. so then around 10 pm jess IM's me and asks "do you want to go to the diner?" and of course i said yes =D so anne jess and i went to the diner and we were just gangsta babes, taking "nigga smidges" of cheese cake, while anne was looking so hot wearing jess' sunglasses at night. hahahaha! niggAnne + niggAsh + jigga-J = hawt 'n' sexxxy motha fuckas hahahahaha <3333333333333. oh, also on this glorious day, i recieved an IM from jon. like i haven't spoken to him in such a "long ass" time, and he even said that haha. he also thought that i was mad at him, and i said "no of course not". he's too sweet of a guy to be mad at. also, it turns out while phil was on the computer that marky IM'ed me too. i feel really bad that i wasn't there to talk to him because we haven't spoken in a long time either =\ . well hopefully they won't be doing anything and i can talk to them today, since they just make me smile waaaay big, along with most everyone else.
so i have alot of shit to do...tomorrow is my permit test which i still need to study for, i have to do a research paper, and a book report ( i chose the perks of being a wallflower<3 ) .
last night was kind of boring. i watched newlyweds and text messaged people. then one of them actually called me and we stayed up talking till 2. it was quite lovely i suppose. i felt bad since brittney called me a bunch of times and i didnt call her back. mainly because i hate how when her best friend is away all of a sudden she wants to hang out with me. sorry im not going to be second, if you're never going to invite me when you two hang out then don't ask me when shes not around.
tuesday was quite interesting. i had a meeting at stop and shop and they told me everything i can't do when im working. "if you see a cute boy don't ask him for his phone number, you can get fired." i just laughed...im not the type to randomly ask a guy for his phone number. after my meeting and some other trips i was conversing with liz for that evening's plans. we decided we'd go bowling, and she was like "i want it to be just us" and i agreed, since its always more fun when its just the two of us. when i got home i went online and kyle started talking to me and called me and said he was going. ok whatever. he calls me again and is like "want me to pick up marlon?" and he then tells me to call him and ask. so after i got off the phone with him i was telling liz, he's not going to go, but i called anyways and found out that we were right. so i call back kyle and told him and hes like alright ill just meet you guys there. so we get there and we find out we gotta wait till 9 or some shit so kyle says "well i have my car" so we just leave and he calls fred, and after driving around we decide we'll just go to fred's house. we get there and fred is walking his dog, which me and kyle know will hump the shit out of anything. fred tells us that his dad feels by cutting off the dog's penis it will become gay and kyle just asks "do you think your dog knows im a guy?" which was just hilarious. we walk to marlon's house to see what he was doing and he was on the phone lol so he comes out and we're just all talking for awhile. then he had to go and the rest of us went to stewarts. afterwards we went back and we finally realize you need to get a number. fred leaves for some hockey game and kyle's cousin keith and his girlfriend? show up. so when we finally get our lane and we bowl and im the worst of course and i don't care. kyle wins and then liz and me. kyle leaves and me and liz just talk while we wait for my mom to come. we tried to call james so liz could talk about whatever she talks about with him but he didn't answer. what a night i must say...
basically thats the only thing interesting i have done on my break. whatever.